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Felicitas Tony wrote:

Hi, guys —

My baby is 11 months and my menstrual cycle is not normal. Sometimes it will be 32 days; sometimes it will be 38 days. Because of this, I don't know when I am ovulating and I can't calculate my safe day. That is why we are using condoms.

  • Under these circumstances, is using a condom a sin?


  { Is using a condom a sin when my menstrual cycle isn't normal and I'm unsure when my safe day is? }

Bob replied:


Using birth control of any type to obstruct the natural fertility of the conjugal act is a sin, so the answer is yes. You may abstain from the act, but not distort its character with artificial barriers. Most of our sexual problems in this world stem from people attempting to separate the procreative component of sex from the unitive or even pleasure component.

The conjugal act is a binding element of your marriage but if you distort it, the consequences will be eventually felt in your marriage. I have seen many divorces in my life and almost always those couples practiced birth control. The friends I know who did not are still married — and they have average-size families. There are a couple families with eight+ kids, but they are more the exception than the norm—and they wanted big families!

There are ways to improve your awareness of your ovulation. For example, the vaginal mucus is different, temperature, and other signs. You should consult a  NFP expert to get assistance.

Remember, God is ultimately in charge of your fertility and your sex life—He designed it. Don't leave Him out of the equation when you make decisions. Your cycles may not be average, but then again neither are you. God only made one of you so you are extremely special in His Eyes and He will help you and your husband to have a great marriage and sex life if you honor His Commands.


Bob Kirby

Eric replied:


The Couple to Couple League can provide useful information on effective, natural ways to space births, including Natural Family Planning, which Bob mentioned.

This is much more effective than the rhythm method which it sounds like you are attempting to use.


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