Bringing you the "Good News" of Jesus Christ and His Church While PROMOTING CATHOLIC Apologetic Support groups loyal to the Holy Father and Church's magisterium
Home About
What's New? Resources The Church Family Life Mass and
Ask A Catholic
Knowledge base
AskACatholic Disclaimer
Search the
AskACatholic Database
Donate and
Support our work
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
New Questions
Cool Catholic Videos
About Saints
Disciplines & Practices for distinct Church seasons
Purgatory and Indulgences
About the Holy Mass
About Mary
Searching and Confused
Contemplating becoming a Catholic or Coming home
Homosexual and Gender Issues
Life and Family
No Salvation Outside the Church
Sacred Scripture
non-Catholic Cults
Justification and Salvation
The Pope and Papacy
The Sacraments
Relationships and Marriage situations
Specific people, organizations and events
Doctrine and Teachings
Specific Practices
Church Internals
Church History

Cynthia C. wrote:

Hi, guys —

Good morning,

I have this situation where I have to live/be around certain types of people and it has affected my health badly.

I feel that I have done everything I can so problems won't get unnecessarily worse but, as we know, some people will still be the same, even after we try to reconcile with them. I've tried to adapt my perspective too, in case things get better, but:

  • What if the problem lies, not within us, but really is derived from them?
  • Isn't it silly to even feel guilty over what is actually someone's else mistakes?

My questions are:

  1. Do we have to work to hold these relationships (between colleagues) under such a situation or is it better to end the relationship?
  2. What are the clues when it is better to:
    • end the relationship
    • keep a safe distance, or
    • worth trying to work things out?
  3. If it happened in a working place, do you think it is better that we tell them in the work place how we really feel, or not, because this is someone who is very destructive and aggressive?
  4. If this happens with a destructive/aggressive neighbor or room mate in a living place, should we change places?

Please help me to resolve these situations. They do verbal attack and acts.

Thank you and God bless.

Cynthia C.

  { Do we have an obligation to keep hostile relationships within the family and at the work place? }

Bob replied:


The only moral responsibly you have is to be respectful and to treat others as you would like to be treated.

You do not have to keep someone as a friend if that person is not meeting the standards of friendship. It sounds like the situations you described warrant ending the friendships. In the work environment it may be difficult to do in as much as the persons may try to retaliate, causing a threat to your employment.

If you can simply pull back from contact to only what is required that would be best. Remain civil, but keep your distance. You don't necessarily have to say directly that it is over, but you can create the effect by action — just do it without malice. If that fails, a verbal cue will be required.

In other friendship or family situations, it is healthiest if you do not live with the persons with whom you have troubles. I would rely on having a physical space to help improve the situation.

Find positive people to bring joy into your life, that will be a necessary counterweight to the heaviness of the others.


Bob Kirby

Cynthia replied:

Dear Bob,

Thanks for your help and God bless!


Please report any and all typos or grammatical errors.
Suggestions for this web page and the web site can be sent to Mike Humphrey
© 2012 Panoramic Sites
The Early Church Fathers Church Fathers on the Primacy of Peter. The Early Church Fathers on the Catholic Church and the term Catholic. The Early Church Fathers on the importance of the Roman Catholic Church centered in Rome.